Angelica Panganiban says she has no desire to return to the body she had before — and after everything she has been through, it is easy to understand why.
In Alyssa Valdez's vlog, the actress was asked about a line from her hit film Beauty in a Bottle: "Come back to the young and beautiful you."
Angelica said she would not change a thing about it, and used it as a jumping-off point to talk about her relationship with her body today.
While she once had a physique that fit conventional showbiz standards, she said she has come to accept that version of herself is gone, and that she is at peace with it.
"After giving birth, parang minahal mo 'yung sarili mo sa capacity niya, at kung ano 'yung capabilities niya. Of course, dumaan ka dun sa stage na parang ang ganda ng katawan ko noon. Makekemback ko ba 'yun? Kaya mo kung katulad ka nung iba na to begin with, athletic ka or talagang ganu'n 'yung lifestyle mo. Eh ako, hindi naman talaga ako ganu'n," she said.
That acceptance runs deeper than postpartum body image. Angelica opened up about the medical ordeal she went through in 2024, which included three surgeries stemming from a diagnosis of avascular necrosis (AVN), a debilitating bone condition that causes bone tissue to die due to a lack of blood supply.
Her first procedure was a hip core decompression in July 2024, a seven-hour surgery aimed at relieving pressure in her hip bones. Three months later, in October 2024, she underwent a hip replacement to address her deteriorated hip joints.
Looking back, Angelica said she still finds it hard to believe what her body endured and ultimately survived.
"Parang since hindi rin naman sikreto sa mga tao na tatlong surgeries ang pinagdaanan ko, so parang doon ako na-surprise na kung ano 'yung kayang gawin ng katawan ko, ng katawan ng isang babae," she said. "Nakagawa ka ng isang buhay dun, tapos dinudugtungan niya 'yung quality of life mo dahil nga na-hip replacement ako."
Rather than mourning what her body used to look like, she said she now holds it in higher regard precisely because of what it has been through.
"Mas gugustuhin ko kung ano 'yung katawan ko ngayon. Mas i-embrace ko siya, dahil ito ang pinagdaanan niya. I-a-admire mo kung ano 'yung pinagdaanan niya kasi ang strong niya," she said.
She was equally direct about why she has no wish to go back.
"Hindi mo gugustuhin na babalikan ko 'yun. Kasi kung babalikan ko 'yun, babalikan ko 'yung sarili ko na mas mahina. Mas gugustuhin ko 'yung katawan ko ngayon na nakapagbigay ng buhay. At nalagpasan ko 'yung isang pinakamalaking struggle ng buhay ko. At 36, nagkaroon ako ng bone death. For two years, nahirapan ako, nag-struggle akong labanan 'yung disease ko. Then, nag-survive ako, 'di ba?" she said.
Angelica, now 39, has been in showbiz since the age of six and remains one of the most recognizable faces in Philippine entertainment.
Angelica is a proud mother to her daughter, Amila Sabine, affectionately known as Bean. She is also happily married to Gregg Homan.
—By Paolo Lim