Pinoy Big Brother Gen 11 3rd Big Placer Kolette Madelo shared why she is deeply committed to giving back to her family while setting healthy boundaries.
In an interview with Hot Takes, Kolette became honest about her perspective on the widely discussed Filipino culture of “utang na loob,” which has recently sparked different opinions online. While some view it as a form of gratitude and responsibility, others believe it can become a source of pressure when taken to extremes.
For Kolette, her drive to support her parents after stepping into show business is rooted in lived experience growing up with financial hardships.
“Dati naranasan din kasi namin na minsan kumakain kami sa isang araw, dalawang beses [or] isa [lang]. Naranasan ko siya.”
Those experiences, she said, became the foundation of a quiet promise she carried up until now.
“So parang ngayon na may kakayanan na akong ibigay yung mga bagay bagay na hindi namin nakuha dati, ibibigay ko... [yun ang] pinromise ko sa parents ko.”
The What Lies Beneath actress recalled how there were moments that hurt her as a daughter, when she and her family would go to the mall, but she could not even afford to buy something for her mother that she wanted at the time.
“As wala pa namang trabaho tsaka hindi pa naman ako nakakapagtapos ng pag-aaral that time, sabi ko parang ang sakit naman na hindi mo naibibigay yung gusto nila.”
“Kaya sabi ko kapag nagka-trabaho ako, ibibigay ko yung mga kaya ko namang ibigay,” she maintained.
When she eventually entered showbiz, Kolette said she took initiative in supporting her family without needing to be asked. She added how grateful she is for her parents as they never pressured or took advantage of her success and instead allowed her to give out of her willingness and love.
“Nung pumasok ako dito sa showbiz, hindi naman nila sinabi na ako ang magbayad [ng bills], ako na yung nagkaroon ng pagkukusa na ibigay yung mga kailangan nila. Nagpapadala ako every month tapos minsan kapag nanghihingi ng pera yung mama ko, pinapa-sobrahan ko na kasi alam ko na kulang yung hihingin [niya]”.
Beyond her family, Kolette also expressed that her willingness to give extends to those who supported her along the way. She then explained that her generosity was shaped by her own hardship, belieiving that people who have gone through difficult times often become the ones most sensitive to others’ struggles.
“Feel ko kasi yung mga taong pure naman na tumutulong sa’yo, sila [rin] yung mga taong may pinagdadaanan at hindi tina-trato nang maayos ng mga taong nasa paligid nila. Parang masasabi ko na rin na ako yun,” she said.
Kolette also shared that kindness, for her, is something that should naturally be passed on, emphasizing how it should extend beyond her fellow celebrities and reaching even those behind the scenes.
“Ako kasi yung tipo ng tao na kapag pinakitaan mo ng [kabaitan], automatic na kaagad [ibabalik ko rin]. Hindi man sa pera, pero sa pagiging mabait ko rin. Hindi lang sa mga artista, kundi sa mga [production team] rin, sa mga utility [worker], sa mga nagbibigay ng pagkain, kasi parang for me, malaking bagay yung pag-trato sa ibang tao. Ayokong tina-trato sila nang iba.”
At the center of her reflections, Kolette stood firm on her belief that while “utang na loob” may be an act of giving back because of gratitude, it should never come at the cost of one’s own well-being.
“Huwag kang matakot mag-set ng boundaries sa sarili mo kasi hindi mo naman talaga obligasyon kung ano yung talagang obligasyon ng parents [mo].
“Okay lang tumulong pero importante talaga na mag-set ka ng boundaries at unahin mo yung sarili mo bago ang lahat. Kasi hindi ka makakatulong sa parents mo o sa ibang tao kapag hindi mo muna tinulungan yung sarili mo,” she maintained.