Angelica Panganiban during her guesting on 'Oh My Gan.' Photo by Jonathan Cellona, ABS-CBN News
Actress Angelica Panganiban got candid about motherhood, healing, and love, sharing that she once struggled with what she believes were “mommy blues” after giving birth to her daughter Amila.
In her guesting on “Oh My Gan,” Angelica revealed that becoming a mother came with confusion and a major shift in identity.
“Noong pagkapanganak ko kasi nagkaroon ako ng feeling ko, depression yata yung tawag doon, dahil feeling ko tumigil yung mundo ko,” she said.
She explained that after years of living in the spotlight, the sudden silence of motherhood felt jarring.
“For the longest time, yung job ko is maingay eh. Nasa harapan ako ng mga tao. Nasa limelight ako. Center of attention ako. Then, nung naging nanay ako, biglang nag-shutdown,” she said.
Angelica admitted she had trouble processing her new reality.
“Parang ‘what’s next for me?’ Then none. Wala. Ito ka. Ito ka na,” she recalled.
The actress said it took time before she fully understood and embraced her new role.
“Ang tagal bago ko naintindihan, bago ko na-accept yung role ko na nagbago. And then, nung finally na-accept ko siya, naintindihan ko na hindi pala siya tahimik, mas umingay siya in a good way,” she said.
She also opened up about how overwhelming motherhood was in the beginning, even confessing that she felt unsure of what to do when she first brought her baby home.
“Nung sa akin, confusion. Yung parang, ‘and then, anong gagawin ko? Anong next?’” she said.
At one point, Angelica said she even felt too ashamed to ask for help for fear of being judged.
“Nahiya ako magtanong kahit sa friends ko, kahit sa mama ko. Kasi feeling ko maja-judge ako,” she shared.
Fortunately, she credited husband Gregg Homan for being present and supportive during that period.
“Yeah, sobra niyang present sa mga panahon na 'yun. Sa sobrang supportive niya, pinakinggan lang niya talaga yung nararamdaman ko,” she said.
Angelica also shared that Gregg was one of the people who encouraged her to go back to work when he saw how being at home too long was affecting her.
“Bago ako bumalik sa acting, may mga parinig na siya na, ‘Balik ka na kaya mag-work?’ Kasi parang ako nababaliw sa bahay,” she said.
According to the actress, Gregg noticed how much lighter she became once she returned to acting.
“Nung nakabalik ako ng work, nakita niya dahan-dahan na nababawasan yung heaviness ko,” she said.
When asked about advice for women looking for the right partner, Angelica said her biggest lesson was to stop making happiness dependent on someone else.
“Feeling ko kasi ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa akin nun hindi ko inasa yung happiness ko sa iba,” she said.
Before meeting Gregg, Angelica said she spent five years single and focused on herself.
“Parang mas nag-focus talaga ako na gusto kong mahalin yung sarili ko na lang,” she said.
The actress said she built herself up so strongly that no one could easily shake her peace.
“Sobra kong sinecure yung… wala nang… itong bubble na ito, wala nang makaka-burst nito,” she said.
For Angelica, that strong foundation is one reason her marriage now works.
“Ayoko kasing mawala. Ayoko ma-lost in touch sa sarili ko… Yun yung foundation mo,” she said.
She added, “Kaya ngayon nag-work yung relationship namin dahil kahit na may maging problema kami, may mga hindi kami pagkakaintindihan, alam ko yung gusto ko, alam ko yung deserve ko.”